profile

Women Under Me

This is a brief reminiscence on the women I have worked with (or for) over my seven years in adult. I admit up front that it was only when I started thinking about writing this piece that I even realized how many women it was. I had taken that fact for granted. As I think back on everything that has happened to me in adult, however, I also realize that women have been influential in helping me achieve just about everything I have done or accomplished, just like in real life. In the Aaron Sorkin drama of my industry experiences, the atmosphere is noticeably thick with female characters, with the major roles going to the "behind the scenes" players, managers, writers, editors, owners and support staff, who make it all happen.

First, there is Rebecca, a sumptuous actress, who first offered me the opportunity to review the lowest rung of porn videos for AVN, the dregs of the dregs, and to get paid a pittance for doing it! The generosity of that offer will always be appreciated, as will the fact that the job, short lived as it was, led directly through AVN Editor Bryn Pryor to the waiting arms of Grace Samsa, editor of fledgling AVN Online. Ah, those were the days, when we worked like little blind mice in a separate building far away from the drama, left alone to make the first faltering issues of our little print thingie until it blossomed into a cherished trade magazine.

Grace was eccentric, smart and sarcastic, and worked like a demon through the day and night. In the end, her reign was significant for having turned nothing into something, albeit with the help of Van Cooney, Ken, Sharon Reed, the assorted little people and me. I liked her very much and liked working under her, and I came to miss those early days very much. Sharon was the only other staff writer then, and we would go for long walks through dingy Van Nuys streets near the courthouse. She was a good friend but she didn't last long. She was gone long before we moved in with the grownups in Chatsworth, Calif.

My other boss in the biz was Michelle Freridge at the Free Speech Coalition, where I went to work after six years at AVN Online. I only went to work at the FSC because of Michelle. She asked me to come in, offered me a job at a significantly lower salary than I had been making, and then proceeded to articulately and passionately lay out a vision for the future of the FSC that made contemplation of any other job all but impossible. Neither of our tenures at the FSC lasted as long as we expected, but for me at least, the accomplishments during that time were significant, and perhaps sole credit is due to Michelle. Turning such an association in the right direction might be akin to turning an aircraft carrier whose rudder has broken. An impossible task, and yet she did it.

But these are just a few of the remarkable women who continue to make the adult industry a vibrant place in which to work.

Don't Generalize
In the end, it is just too difficult to generalize about any of the people who inhabit this world or that other world alongside the office workplace — the set. Like the product itself, you experience a little bit of everything in this business, and meet every type.

Indeed, the vast display of diversity in adult is enough to make the point, that each individual is as indelible as the next. For an industry so fond of producing bland archetypes, is this not a pleasant irony? I could begin a list of women we know well and work with who fill our lives in the online community and beyond, but it would be my list and everyone would find fault with it. But is that not exactly the point, the extent to which this presumably male-dominated bastion has been infiltrated, and made the men better for it?

The further question of course is whether the product has been made better for it, but that is a far weighty subject than I am capable of conquering. All I know is that the names of a hundred women are running through my mind, and I want to write each down, to prove the worth of what I am saying, but I know that I will have left a hundred out, and a hundred after that.

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

FSC's Valentine Leads Charge for Sex Worker Rights and Financial Access

Before ever stepping into a courtroom, Valentine already understood the power of presence. After all, they’ve shimmied on stages as a burlesque performer, consulted behind the scenes for creative businesses and moved through the adult industry not just as an advocate, but as a participant.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

Breaking Down HB 805 and How it Affects the Adult Industry

North Carolina House Bill 805 was enacted July 29, after the state legislature overrode Governor Josh Stein’s veto. The provisions that relate to the adult industry, imposing requirements for age verification, consent and content removal, are scheduled to become effective Dec. 1. Platforms have until then to update their policies and systems to comply with the new regulations.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

Staying Compliant With Payment Standards Across Europe and Australia

So, you’ve got your eye on international growth. Smart move. No matter where adult-industry merchants operate, however, one requirement remains consistent: regulatory compliance. This isn’t just a legal checkbox — it’s a critical component of keeping payments flowing and business operations intact.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

How to Avoid Copyright Pitfalls When Using Music in Adult Content

When creating an adult video, bringing your vision to life often means assembling just the right ingredients — including the right music. However, adding music to adult content can raise complex legal and ethical issues.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

New Visa Rules Adult Merchants Need to Know

In December 2024, I shared an update on the upcoming rollout of Visa’s Acquirer Monitoring Program, also known as VAMP. The final version went into effect in June, and enforcement will begin in October. With just a month to go, now is the time to review what’s changing and how to stay compliant.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

WIA Profile: Lainie Speiser

With her fiery red hair and a laugh that practically hugs you, Lainie Speiser is impossible to miss. Having repped some of adult’s biggest stars during her 30-plus years in the business, the veteran publicist is also a treasure trove of tales dating back to the days when print was king and social media not even a glimmer in the industry’s eye.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

Fighting Back Against AI-Fueled Fake Takedown Notices

The digital landscape is increasingly being shaped by artificial intelligence, and while AI offers immense potential, it’s also being weaponized. One disturbing trend that directly impacts adult businesses is AI-powered “DMCA takedown services” generating a flood of fraudulent Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notices.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

Building Seamless Checkout Flows for High-Risk Merchants

For high-risk merchants such as adult businesses, crypto payments are no longer just a backup plan — they’re fast becoming a first choice. More and more businesses are embracing Bitcoin and other digital currencies for consumer transactions.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

What the New SCOTUS Ruling Means for AV Laws and Free Speech

On June 27, 2025, the United States Supreme Court handed down its landmark decision in Free Speech Coalition v. Paxton, upholding Texas’ age verification law in the face of a constitutional challenge and setting a new precedent that bolsters similar laws around the country.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

What You Need to Know Before Relocating Your Adult Business Abroad

Over the last several months, a noticeable trend has emerged: several of our U.S.-based merchants have decided to “pick up shop” and relocate to European countries. On the surface, this sounds idyllic. I imagine some of my favorite clients sipping coffee or wine at sidewalk cafés, embracing a slower pace of life.

Cathy Beardsley ·
Show More